Camp part 2….

So we decided not to force the boy to go to camp as it was doing my head in….if it was causing that much stress then it wasn’t worth it.

So as I sat eating my breakfast on Monday morning, with no bags packed and the bus due to leave in 40 minutes the boy uttered the immortal words….

‘I don’t know if I want to go on Camp or not’

I have never moved so fast in my life. I knew that I had to go with it, that if he wanted to go on camp then I would get him there. Of course as soon as I said to get dressed he said no. I suggested he go on the bus and I would follow him up to camp in the afternoon, I really wanted him to experience something else. He couldn’t get dressed quick enough then, and he made it to the school bus on time.

That afternoon I drove the 2 hours up to camp. The boy was so excited to see me and started demanding that we leave immediately. He had decided he was only staying for the day. There was no chance of me sneaking away whilst he wasn’t watching……

I watched him go canoeing with his group and then we left the camp after dinner – there was no wine!!!! How do the teachers cope?

By the time we got home the boy was tired and not feeling well. By morning he was vomiting. So so glad that I didn’t force him to stay – it would have been a nightmare!

I received a message from another parent who’s child was at the camp asking how long it took to travel there as she had to go and collect her child who was sick as well.

It is now Thursday and the man and I are sick as well, the boy is still sick.

What a week this has been!

Is it over yet?



The Camp

The boy is meant to go on school camp tomorrow. We don’t see that happening.

He is very anxious and has cried about it for weeks. If it gets mentioned he says he’s not going. There have been notes written around the house that he’s not going. When we said he was going he just said, ‘you won’t be able to get me out of the house!’ 

He says he will miss us too much, and his dog and his cat.

I’m afraid he will miss out on life if he never does anything!

He has always been a home body – when we went to England when he was two, he said it was time to go home when we had only been there a few days. 

He doesn’t care that his friends are going, that he will be trying new activities and will have fun. I have said that if he is staying home he has to do jobs for three days – he then asked if he would get a reward for that?


I am ashamed to say that I got very angry and ranted that I was sick of not normal kids, that I wanted kids that would go on camps and do sleepovers without hesitation and without a military operation.  I am tired of this – and jealous of all the other parents in the same year level as the boy preparing and packing their kids for camp.

I will look on from the outside again.

The birthday from hell

Today was my birthday.

And I cried.

It was decided that we would go out for lunch to celebrate, just the four of us……I don’t know what I was thinking!

After an hour or two of kids stuffing around and still not getting dressed, or whinging that they didn’t have a plan white top to wear (the girl) and getting upset set when I said I couldn’t just materialise it out of thin air, and the boy not putting his shoes on and cavorting around the house annoying the dog, the man and I walked out.

By ourselves.

By the time I had reversed the car down the driveway both kids were standing outside the house with their shoes in their hands ready to go.  The boy was very apologetic about making me sad and the girl was whining about her socks being dirty.

The kids were excited as we were having pancakes for lunch and they love pancakes. They liked the sound of the pancakes that came with chocolate syrup, ice-cream and sprinkles, but the girl was unsure whether she would like it on a pancake, so I got them to put all the side in separate jugs on the side of the plate. The waitress must have thought we were mad!

As predicted – the pancake tasted different and the ice-cream tasted different so both went uneaten by the girl. But she managed to eat all of the chocolate syrup with no problem. That would have filled her up!

Back home we went where the girl promptly asked for something to eat as she was hungry.

Then it was time to go to my mothers house for dinner. As predicted, the kids wouldn’t cooperate. The boy was playing with a ball in the hall and wouldn’t do anything he was asked and the girl was flapping around doing whatever she was doing. The man had the audacity to raise his voice which caused the boy to shut down completely.

At this point I burst into tears (again) and left the house. I drove to my mums house crying and had a birthday dinner without any of my family. My Mum, Nana, Sister, Brother in law and my niece and nephews were on hand to sing me happy birthday but not my own family.

I got to watch normal kids do normal things and it just made me feel worse. I felt very sad and worn out by it all.

I know that the boy and the girl can’t think of anyone but themselves but I do wish they could. It is not nice feeling very unimportant all the time.

I will get over it and move on, but today I am sad.


All the noise!!!!

It is finally the holidays here, not sure whether that is a good or bad thing. Good because I have a heap of things I need to do, and bad cos the kids are home.

It is only day 2 and already the boy is driving me around the bend with his relentless energy.

He. Doesn’t. Stop!

He is bouncing off the walls, and making a tremendous amount of noise. All day! My poor ears are already ringing….

He sings and hums, and plays games with the dog which consist of a lot of rolling around on the floor with giggling and more noise, and plays on the wii and talks to his friends online and orders them around and shouts some more. He plays with his sister which always ends in tears. All with noise!!!!!!

Can’t wait til he is asleep!

Now where are my earplugs?



This close!

We were this close to having only one child tonight.

I was wetting myself with excitement at the thought!

We went to my mother’s house for dinner tonight and at one point I asked Mum what she was doing tomorrow as she didn’t have to work due to the long weekend.

She replied that she was out to prepare the flowers where she goes for Philosophy classes. The girl has been a few times with her in the holidays and loves going for some reason.

The girl heard her say that she was going, and asked if she could go as well. Mum said of course she could, and asked if she wanted to stay the night at her house as well.

The girl said yes, and didn’t blink an eye when I asked what she wanted me to bring back for her to sleep in. Lucky we only live a few streets away and it didn’t take me long to drive home.

As we were leaving tonight, I went through instructions with the girl and pointed out the bag of clothes I had thrown together for her.

‘Tonight’? She says.

‘I don’t want to stay tonight’, and promptly cried.

And complained all the way home with tears streaming down her face that she wasn’t tired at all!

How dare I get my hopes up about a night off!


The boy and the girl see a Psychologist on a regular basis and the last time that she was here she was having a chat to the girl about learning to like Aspergers.

The girl was saying that she didn’t like telling anyone that she had it because she had been scarred by a friend a couple of years ago. The girl had told her friend that she had it and swore her to secrecy but of course kids being kids this friend told the rest of the class. Now I doubt a class full of nine and 10 year olds actually knew what it was, but it was fun to tease the girl about.

The Psychologist was getting the girl to list all the good things about it and to try to break down her negative perception of it, and of telling anyone as otherwise she will still be hung up on this incident in twenty years, unable to move past it.

It got me to thinking of a few incidents in my life that had happened, and still upset me if I think too hard about them.

The first one was when I was in primary school about Grade 4 and I was singing in the Choir. I loved singing and had fun being with my friends. A girl near me in the row told me I couldn’t sing, so I left the Choir without telling anyone why and have hated singing since.

The next memory was and still is a painful one – one that has caused me much grief and sadness and stopped me liking a single moment of the last 2.5 years of high school. I was in Year 10 and I had a nice group of friends, or so I thought. One day as I approached them at recess or lunch time I saw them look at me, talk to each other and then run away.

I was devastated!

I had no idea what to do next, and any smidgen of confidence I had in myself had now gone. There was no way I was going to attempt to approach them again, and I don’t think I spoke to many people at school for the next two years.

I always had an outlet in the way of sport. I have played or done a sport of some kind all my life, and at one point used to compete in Cross-Country Skiing. I had worked my way up the rankings and had been invited away with the National Team on one of their training camps. I wasn’t in the team as such, just a few aspiring skiers had been added into the camp. I was so excited, being away in another state and getting the chance to ski with some great athletes.

On this one particular day of the camp we all set out for a training run. One of the scheduled breaks was at a hut in the middle of nowhere, but it had a guest book in there for everyone  to write down a message in. One of the girls who was slightly older than me, and someone I looked up to, wrote a message on behalf of the whole team. I can’t remember most of the message but she signed it off with

‘……from the National team and loser hangers on’.

I still remember being so crushed by that. I felt so unworthy and stupid for thinking I could be a great skier. Who was I to think I could ever be good?

I slowly withdrew from the skiing world, again not telling anyone because of the shame of having to repeat what I saw.

It’s funny how remarks or actions by people can really define who you are and who you become. If I knew then what I know now it would be such a different story. I wouldn’t stop anyone from pursuing a sport I loved, or not have given up singing, and I would have had the confidence to ask these girls why they ran away from me, and I would have made new friends.

But I guess that comes with age and wisdom.

Don’t throw out the wine!!!

Sometimes I have a laugh about the search terms that bring readers to this blog.

A lot of them feature teeth brushing problems, which is normal as Aspies hate the taste of toothpaste and feel of the toothbrush in their mouth.

Obsessions with paper is another one which is normal, as is sleep – or lack of sleep. There are a lot of sleep deprived parents who keep the caffeine business going.

One of the more interesting search this week was ‘little girl boy brushing teeth girl puts toothpaste and sprinkles on boy’s head’…..

Hmm not sure what was going on there – were they sprinkles that you put on bread? And did the little girl think the boy was a snack?

Another one from today was ‘when he gets angry he throws out all the wine!’  What the…?

Not sure why anyone who searches for wine would land on my blog!😉

And why would anyone throw out good wine, regardless of whether they were angry or not!

That’s just kooky talk!

Crazy Saturday

Yesterday was another crazy Saturday for us. The man works on Saturday’s so it is my job to take both kids to their various activities.

Sundays I fall over in a heap!

And then go to the gym. And clean the house, and study, but I’d like to fall over in a heap….

After arguing with the boy about going to his basketball game yesterday, they finally won for the first time in 7 months. Last season had been a hard one as the boys had been put in the wrong division. Yesterday was the first game of the new season and they were in the right division this time. The team was very excited to see a win on the board! I think I cheered more than they did though….

Following the basketball run was picking the girl up from ballet, shopping, then the psychologist came over to see the kids – the girl spoke to her and the boy ignored her…. normal then!

The girl gets a chance to offload everything that is bothering her, and hopefully get some strategies to deal with what goes on in her life.

The boy managed to shut down very successfully until the hour was up – he knows that she has to leave eventually so just waits until she does. It is his way of avoiding the hard questions she may ask him. I did want him to talk to her about the anxiety he gets and ways to deal with it, but I think he was too anxious to do it. Can’t win with him!

The boy then entertained himself for a while by watching Super Nanny episodes on Youtube. I think he was getting tips on how to misbehave! He seemed fascinated by what was happening and could tell me all about ‘the reflection room’ and how it was meant to improve the kids’ behaviour, and what the kids in the show was doing. I still want Super Nanny to have to deal with kids on the spectrum, I think she’d lose somehow! Hehe…..

Then I had a nap!


Head hurts tonight!

The girl dances on a Friday night. She loves dancing, and she looks so free and happy when she does.

Tonight she came home hungry. Not unusual as she is always hungry, but she didn’t know what she wanted to eat.  The problem is is that she only eats about four things and she didn’t want any of those.

Pasta? No

Weetbix with Vegemite? No


Sandwich? No

All options exhausted then. Cue tears….

I put one option on the table – the one she hadn’t finished from before she left for dancing – and told her to go sit down at the table. Once she saw what it was she started crying that she didn’t want it, but couldn’t tell me what she did want. I said that if she didn’t want to eat then she should have a bath and go to bed, as she was obviously tired.

Apparently eyes hanging out of head and tears doesn’t mean you are tired! Just so you know…

I lost it at the point and said it wasn’t a restaurant and she was out of options. Cue more tears and collapsing on the ground this time.

I left her to it and went into another room to cool down.

A few minutes later she stormed past us to go to her room, where she proceeded to collapse on her bed this time, conveniently bypassing the bathroom and ignoring the fact that I’d told her to have a bath if she wasn’t going to eat.

After physically dragging her off the bed and into the bathroom, I then had to undress her, which is quite difficult when she is trying to put her clothes back on at the same time. I picked her up and dumped her in the bath (so so glad she is little!) and walked away… after saying that if she was not careful she would have to go and live with another family because I can’t look after her anymore.

Five minutes later she is calling me from the bath.

‘Now I’m worried that you are going to get rid of me’.

After reassuring her that I didn’t mean it and I was just frustrated by her behaviour, she got out of the bath.

And proceeded to get upset about everything else that was going on in her world. Like her body hurting everywhere, and her knee hurts as well, and the German Teacher at school is convinced that all kids with Aspergers are going to try to run away like a girl did in Prep who has it, but don’t ask her how she knows this because she can’t tell me. And she doesn’t want the German Teacher to know she has it because she will tell even more people about it, like her best friend in Year 4 did after promising to keep it a secret then telling everyone who then proceeded to laugh and point at her. And there is a mean girl in the Softball Team at school who keeps picking on her but she is in the Year below her and she only knows her first name but she is really mean to her and she is really missing her computer game and when can you get a new computer so I can play it and it’s not fair….and can I have some Tuna please?

This was all told to me in about two minutes flat, such was the speed of her talking.

I know that she holds everything in until she feels she is safe enough to tell us and then she erupts, but we have to go through the meltdown to get to what is upsetting her.

Hurts my head and now I need a drink. And chocolate. Or both….

What the?

I love the way kids minds work sometimes, how they jump from one topic to another.

Or maybe it is just my children’s minds.

Tonight as the boy and I were on our way home from basketball training the song  ‘Walks like Rihanna’ was on.

The boy asked why they were singing about how Rihanna walks. I held in a rather not nice comment about how Rihanna walks and can’t sing or dance and explained that the singer thought this particular girl ‘walked like Rihanna’.

He said ‘but everyone walks the same, and did you know that Aborigines eat bush tucker and it makes their teeth white and strong?’

I would have never thought to put those two topics in the same sentence but whatever…. !