Today was my birthday.
And I cried.
It was decided that we would go out for lunch to celebrate, just the four of us……I don’t know what I was thinking!
After an hour or two of kids stuffing around and still not getting dressed, or whinging that they didn’t have a plan white top to wear (the girl) and getting upset set when I said I couldn’t just materialise it out of thin air, and the boy not putting his shoes on and cavorting around the house annoying the dog, the man and I walked out.
By the time I had reversed the car down the driveway both kids were standing outside the house with their shoes in their hands ready to go. The boy was very apologetic about making me sad and the girl was whining about her socks being dirty.
The kids were excited as we were having pancakes for lunch and they love pancakes. They liked the sound of the pancakes that came with chocolate syrup, ice-cream and sprinkles, but the girl was unsure whether she would like it on a pancake, so I got them to put all the side in separate jugs on the side of the plate. The waitress must have thought we were mad!
As predicted – the pancake tasted different and the ice-cream tasted different so both went uneaten by the girl. But she managed to eat all of the chocolate syrup with no problem. That would have filled her up!
Back home we went where the girl promptly asked for something to eat as she was hungry.
Then it was time to go to my mothers house for dinner. As predicted, the kids wouldn’t cooperate. The boy was playing with a ball in the hall and wouldn’t do anything he was asked and the girl was flapping around doing whatever she was doing. The man had the audacity to raise his voice which caused the boy to shut down completely.
At this point I burst into tears (again) and left the house. I drove to my mums house crying and had a birthday dinner without any of my family. My Mum, Nana, Sister, Brother in law and my niece and nephews were on hand to sing me happy birthday but not my own family.
I got to watch normal kids do normal things and it just made me feel worse. I felt very sad and worn out by it all.
I know that the boy and the girl can’t think of anyone but themselves but I do wish they could. It is not nice feeling very unimportant all the time.
I will get over it and move on, but today I am sad.