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The Camp

The boy is meant to go on school camp tomorrow. We don’t see that happening.

He is very anxious and has cried about it for weeks. If it gets mentioned he says he’s not going. There have been notes written around the house that he’s not going. When we said he was going he just said, ‘you won’t be able to get me out of the house!’ 

He says he will miss us too much, and his dog and his cat.

I’m afraid he will miss out on life if he never does anything!

He has always been a home body – when we went to England when he was two, he said it was time to go home when we had only been there a few days. 

He doesn’t care that his friends are going, that he will be trying new activities and will have fun. I have said that if he is staying home he has to do jobs for three days – he then asked if he would get a reward for that?

Umm….NO!

I am ashamed to say that I got very angry and ranted that I was sick of not normal kids, that I wanted kids that would go on camps and do sleepovers without hesitation and without a military operation.  I am tired of this – and jealous of all the other parents in the same year level as the boy preparing and packing their kids for camp.

I will look on from the outside again.

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2 thoughts on “The Camp

  1. Dear Simone,
    I share your pain. I have 3 with Asperger’s (son 34, daughter 33, and daughter 23) Two children with related disorders, yet they are different. I have gone through all the motions of grieving of all the normal things that will never be. The school tantrums, homework, required school projects, school system demands, therapy, psychiatrists, no friends, no dating, no moving on. Just when i think things are getting better they backslide. They get a great job and then the supervisor changes, doesn’t understand they get fired, layed off, let go and remain jobless. All three were receiving disability income, then one was doing well so they discontinued his coverage. he has been out of work over 4 years and they WILL NOT reinstate it because he is unemployed NOT disabled (his salary was TOO HIGH) so he couldn’t be disabled. What is sad is that family doesn’t believe in disabilities or mental problems, and I carry the load alone. I have “blown up” on occasion and said mean nasty things, things the kids know I don’t mean but that I am so stressed out that I can’t hold it in anymore. I have been through therapy/counseling so that I could help the kids, but for me there is no escape. They told me to get a job outside the home. Great – then I had two full-time jobs- kids showing up at work, no one to do things at home, I live in a house full of people, yet I am alone. I have nothing of my own that hasn’t been ruined, I am frustrated beyond belief. The police/therapist called me the linchpin, if anything happens to me, it will all go crazy.
    From your birthday to summer camp, I am a kindred spirit, been there, felt that, and continue to struggle forward. I am now beyond the ability to make light, and laugh off difficulties. I used to be able to find a bright spot, but lately, it is extremely difficult if not impossible. To many years, no breaks, Just keep on going…… Snowalker

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