I don’t know how much you have figured out from previous posts but I suffer from depression. I have had it since the girl was born nearly 10 years ago.
Most days I have a handle on it but sometimes it all just gets too much. I just want to hide from the world for a while
At my worst I was hospitalised on two occasions for 4 weeks each time. It saved my life and my baby’s life. I won’t go into it now but I was in a pretty bad place.
I am not there now but I just want to stop for a bit. The boy threw an almighty tantrum this morning about going to school. He does this periodically and recently we have been able to overcome these tantrums by saying that he will be going to school so either get dressed now or he will be getting dressed in the principals office after walking into school in his pyjamas.
It didn’t work this morning and neither the man or I could get him out of the door. We gave in and said that if he was sick then he would have to stay in bed the whole day and do nothing. He screamed and cried at that for a while but then calmed down.
After asking to watch the tv and being told no, and getting the same answer when he asked to play with his DS, or play with lego, or read a book, he gave up and asked where his school clothes were and could Dad please drive him to school. I even got a hug and a kiss goodbye. He left and I promptly burst into tears. It is all getting too hard…
I do some work but I have no motivation to do that any more. I have an idea for a mini-business/hobby but I have no energy to get started with that either. I feel safe at home and don’t like leaving home sometimes and I enjoy being by myself when everyone is either at work or at school. I relish the silence….
My head is a lovely place to be at the moment.