Don’t throw out the wine!!!

Sometimes I have a laugh about the search terms that bring readers to this blog.

A lot of them feature teeth brushing problems, which is normal as Aspies hate the taste of toothpaste and feel of the toothbrush in their mouth.

Obsessions with paper is another one which is normal, as is sleep – or lack of sleep. There are a lot of sleep deprived parents who keep the caffeine business going.

One of the more interesting search this week was ‘little girl boy brushing teeth girl puts toothpaste and sprinkles on boy’s head’…..

Hmm not sure what was going on there – were they sprinkles that you put on bread? And did the little girl think the boy was a snack?

Another one from today was ‘when he gets angry he throws out all the wine!’ ¬†What the…?

Not sure why anyone who searches for wine would land on my blog! ūüėČ

And why would anyone throw out good wine, regardless of whether they were angry or not!

That’s just kooky talk!

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Anxiety and hiding under the bed

The boy gets anxious.

He gets so anxious that he makes himself sick.

He doesn’t want to go to school because he finds it hard and he has to work hard and use the brain of his that does actually work very well, ¬†he just thinks it doesn’t.

So he hides under the bed.

And says that I should just call him the boy who cried wolf because apparently I never believe that he is really sick. Except when he was sick for three days a couple of weeks ago I wouldn’t let him go to school, but please would I forget about that.

*sigh*

We are working together with his teacher to make him more resilient to school, and to get him to take less mental health days but it is hard. He really really hates school.

But loves his friends there!

He was very indignant last week when his sister had a day off school because she wasn’t well. It was the first day she had had off all year but he still got his nose out of joint about it.

It does my head in!

Today was hard to get him moving and out the door. I hadn’t slept at all with too much going on in my head, and the girl has been awake since 3am. There wasn’t enough coffee in the world to wake me up this morning.

Fingers crossed for a good night’s sleep and easy morning….

 

 

 

Pass the wine

We are just in the middle of one of our nightly fights with the boy. Apparently because we are trying to make him brush his teeth we are bad parents who don’t care about him. He has just been literally dragged kicking and screaming into his bedroom and been told to put himself to sleep and that he has to stay there all night.

By himself.

Impossible!

It breaks my heart to see him act like that. I hate being told I am a bad parent by him when I love him to bits and would do anything to not see him hurt.

I don’t get why he has to shut down every night when asked to brush his teeth. Up until that point he is a happy cheery boy, and it’s like a switch just flicks inside his head. He won’t tell us why he won’t brush his teeth. He does it without fighting in the morning so it is not a sensory issue.

Drives. Us. Crazy!

The girl is in her room shouting for everyone to be quiet and that she is trying to learn her spelling words! She couldn’t care less about what is happening. I wouldn’t expect anything else from her though.

As I have written all this I caught him sneaking out of his room to go and brush his teeth. I don’t get why he does this after 15 minutes of screaming about it, and making the man and I sad and upset in the process. Now we will sit here all evening feeling like we are failures.

Where’s the wine tonight? Anyone….

I’ll update you on the sleeping issue later.

Let there be hope!

Just a short one today.

We are at breaking point at the moment. The girl is waking up numerous times a night, and often stays awake from 3 or 4am. This is not good for my or the man’s state of mind. We are sleep deprived and bad tempered. Some times¬†a lot of the time we feel we have no one on our side or helping us. We get praised about how well we deal with the kids or get told that people are in awe but that doesn’t help much when it is the middle of the night and the girl won’t sleep and is shouting which wakes the boy up and no one knows what to do. Or when I am told I am an idiot and am mean all the time because I make the girl get off the couch and actually do something. Or when the boy smashed the door handle into the wall and makes yet another hole in the plaster just because I wouldn’t let him do something.

I am feeling a bit lonely at the moment, or just not good enough. In the past few weeks my parenting and the children’s behaviour has been called into question by people who have no right to judge.

We have just got hold of an ASD Psychologist. She is coming to our house this coming Saturday. Just from speaking to her on the phone she sounds like she knows how to deal with children on the spectrum, unlike the other one we saw a few times last year who had no idea what to do with the boy. She said she does home visits because the children are more relaxed and comfortable in their own environment.

We can only hope….

Here is something I really liked as well.

Something to think about.

 

What a week….

The girl looking very happy! Apparently…

We have reached the end of a very busy week and a half. The girl was in numerous dress rehearsals and then four concerts of her Year 5 and 6 concert of Beauty and the Beast Junior. She played the role of a ‘Silly Girl’ which the man and I thought was very apt. The last concert was on Thursday night and as we were all tired both the boy and girl didn’t go to school on the Friday. It was lovely not to have to rush out the door in the morning for a change.

The make up and hair for all concerts was a challenge. She hated the smell and feel of the foundation and the hairspray was a challenge to get near her! I only had to put her foundation on at home, the rest (including the false eyelashes) was put on by the make up team. I am so so grateful for them. We also had many tears and squirming whilst holding a curling iron…

On Sunday morning the girl had a final rehearsal for her Ballet Presentation Class (exam) which was to be held on the Monday. We were both up and out early to get there by 8.45am. Not on a Sunday!!!!

I picked her up from school early yesterday to get her to her exam on time. Luckily I didn’t have to fight to put her hair in a bun, I was able to leave it to her ballet teacher. ¬†Of course because I wasn’t doing it she didn’t fight and argue about it! Typical!

Now we can all relax for a few months until the Ballet Recital at the end of the year…Phew!

Sitting in the hair chair!

Help!

Hmm my first post in a while…things have been a bit hectic here lately.

Finding it very hard to cope with it all at the moment. What I would do for some help or a holiday. Or just someone to get the girl out of bed and dressed in the morning. I am usually exhausted by 7.28am every morning and my spine has fallen out just from wrestling her out of bed.

This morning I had two of them to get dressed as the boy has collapsed and was incapable of moving due to one of his obsessions. He gets these obsessions for things¬†and that’s what consumes him. There is no getting him to think or talk about anything else and heaven help us if we can’t get it for him. Of course once he gets whatever it is he moves on to something else and the need starts again.

At the moment it is a BB gun. Yep, an air rifle! Of course I am going to be rushing out to get one. Just wait while I grab my bag will you!

I physically had to dress him and brush his teeth and shove his feet into his shoes just to get him to school as he was just being an immovable lump on his bed. No response was had from him in regards to anything other than that was all he wanted and that’s all he ever wanted for ever and ever.

I do feel for him about these obsessions – to be consumed by something like that would make it very hard to function. I wish I could help him get over these but I don’t know what to do.

Wednesday he wouldn’t go to school at all and when he gets angry he is very very strong.

I also got very very angry.

I smashed the lead-lighted window we have in the front door. I was so so angry that he could do that to me. Of course him not going to school was the straw that broke the camels back after having a crappy night with the girl. She had been awake since 3.30am and both the man and I were tired.

I need a break!

Just shoot me. Please…

Anyone know what to do with obsessions and how to help the boy overcome them??

Anything…..

England and the journey over here

Greetings from the other side of the world! We are in England for Christmas and boy it is cold!

What an adventure we had getting here though….never again am I getting on a plane. I would rather pull all my teeth out than get on that Jet!

The day we left seemed never-ending to the boy as he couldn’t wait to leave but our flight didn’t leave until 10.25pm. The poor boy was nearly beside himself by that point. Apparently you can just turn up earlier at the airport and the plane will leave when you want it to leave! Yes boy…sure!

Actually the only reason he wanted to board the plane was to start watching the hundreds of movies that there was on offer. What more could a boy want!!

And yes, a couple of hours into the 14 hour leg we got asked the dreaded question, ‘Are we nearly at Dubai?’ Arghhhhh!!!!

Then the boy got sick.

Then I got sick.

Longest. Flight. Ever.

Then we got to Dubai and had to transfer to another plane.

THAT was the longest flight of my life. By then I was really sick and the steward had to call the doctor on the ground to authorise medicine for me which allowed me to doze a little bit for the remaining 5 hours.

The boy was fine and had been since Dubai – how unfair!

The girl had sat and watched the little airoplane on her screen for hours inbetween asking what the time was and what could she eat?

And for reference, children with aspergers would never eat the plane food – and I am a little unsure how ‘normal’ children would find the food provided appealing. Luckily I had taken some food for them, and of course there is always McDonald’s at the airport if you get really desperate.

We arrived in the UK to snow – the kids were thrilled having never seen it before. No, we have never taken them to see it at home. That would require too much effort to get there.

They threw a couple of snow balls at each other and played around in it – then complained that they were wet. I guess movies have a lot to answer for!

Thank god for wine!

Which I enjoyed thoroughly when I was well enough (the next day)

 

 

Hard times…

I know it has been a while since I have written anything. It has all seemed to hard and daunting. I’m sure you all know the feeling.

Welcome to my life…

The kids went back to school last week but I feel like I am still playing catch-up after the holidays. The house is a mess, homework routine has gone out the window and the meltdowns are building up. Last night’s was a whopper from the girl. One section of homework took 3 hours, and it still wasn’t complete by the time I was about to throw it in the bin in disgust. In fact, the man did throw it in the bin but the boy got upset at that and got it out.

You see, camp is next week and that always causes problems. Changes to routines, changes to environments and mum and dad won’t be there. Stress overload.

She wants to go but she is scared. She cried herself to sleep on the two nights she went away last year, but she did it and we were proud of her. At this stage I don’t know whether she will be alive by next week to go.

The man and I had a good laugh tonight about a questionnaire we received about a sleep study. Sleep? Can anyone please tell us what that is? The girl goes to sleep any time between 9pm and 11pm and then wakes a couple of times a night and sometimes can be awake from 4am. I would hate to be her teacher at school on those days!

The good news so far this term is that the boy started tennis lessons and actually spoke to the coach and participated in his first lesson!! That would never have happened a year ago! He is making so much progress this year and he can’t wait to go back again tomorrow morning.

I am struggling with my depression but have turned to exercise to try to beat it this time. I am enjoying running and being out of the house and as a bonus the centimeters are coming off me as well. I love the freedom of being outside and not contactable. No kids, no screaming, no demanding.

Maybe I will go for another run today!

Or maybe have some wine instead.

Concert Time

Last night the kids had their first of three school concerts.

What an accomplishment for them both – especially the boy as a few months ago when they started rehearsals at school he was¬†adamant he wasn’t going to do it.

No further discussion will be entered into, so don’t bother trying.

At the same concert two years ago (the school only does it every two years because it is such a big production) we basically had to duct tape him to the stage just to get him to stay there. This year we weren’t able to get him off! I had been so anxious for the last few months, wondering how we were going to deal with getting him there. Would we have to bribe him? Have many many arguements about it? All of it was a waste of time, he was fine.

I had been thinking that the girl might not even make it to the concert. The night before she was beside herself with both nerves and tiredness. She also had a cold, and everything that could go wrong went wrong. She had tears and snot going everywhere (sorry if too much information!) I ended up rocking her to calm her down and then letting her drift off to sleep by snuggling in bed with her. ¬†Luckily she slept all night. Usually the night before something big she manages to wake up at stupid o’clock and not get back to sleep. She’s already had one 4.20am start this week, and another night of two wake ups. Her dad and I were tired – and she was exhausted.

This week the boy was so excited because the concert was finally here. Both kids went off to the performance venue on Friday for the dress rehearsal during the day and then back there for the concert that night. The boy bounded into the dressing room without a backwards glance. How nice it was not to be needed.

On the stage the boy looked so happy! Who would have thought he would have been singing and dancing along so enthusiastically! He knew what he was meant to be doing and looked so happy. He even spotted me in the audience so I got a little wave mid song.

The girl is in her element on stage. She loves performing and that is her thing. We have been privy to the whole performance in the last few weeks as she has a photographic memory for scripts – so she knew all the characters lines. They were performing ‘Wonder in Aliceland’. The boy was a Queen’s Gardener and the girl was a flower. How cute they all were up on stage.

I am so proud of how far they have both come – for the boy it was an exceptional job.

Now they just have to get through the two performances next Friday. Am thinking I will have to buy another ticket just to see them again!

Injury

I have had a couple of weeks away from the real world, and I have had enough.

Nearly two weeks ago I had a shower and as I lifted my foot to clean it my back went into spasm. It was horrendous. Couldn’t move or walk. Have decided that from now on I will be air washing – will let you know how it goes….

My lovely lovely husband has picked up the slack – taking kids to and from school, and doing the sport runs, early morning choir trips, and doctors visits! Isn’t he nice? He looks after me.

The boy is being good to me, and is giving me lots of cuddles and gentle back rubbing. The girl keeps trying to hang off me, or to give her cuddles when she is lying down (not a chance of getting down there luv). She is trying in her way to be loving and supportive, just doesn’t always turn out that way.

I have had some friends drop over some meals for me, which means I don’t have to think too hard about cooking¬† and I don’t have to stand too long in the kitchen. The conversation about what to cook was interesting though – they asked what the kids ate? I said not much and don’t worry about them – I had vegemite. Yes the vegemite!

Apparently yesterday was take-away night. The boy decided that since I was ‘broken’ I shouldn’t cook dinner, but I wasn’t too broken to cook a cake ‘pwease mummy’. Interesting theory….

I haven’t been able to work, not good for the bank balance. Have had to tell a few clients to clean their own toilets! (yes I clean other people’s houses) And I have the guilts that I am not trying hard enough to do anything. Even though my back spasms when I try to stand up, move, cough, and please please don’t make me laugh!! Love the mummy guilts…

Sleeping is interesting. Hurts to turn over, hurts to lie in one spot for too long. I have ‘sheet’ burn on my elbow from trying to move myself in the night – the only way to do it is to prop myself up on my elbow, turn slowly, then somehow ease my arm out of the way. Panedeine Forte helps a bit.

Hopefully, hopefully I am on the mend. I have hurt the bottom two discs in my spine, but it doesn’t seem to be permanent, and some other doctor talk that I don’t understand. And I will have to keep the area stabilised so that I don’t do it again. It seems to be an old weightlifting injury. Damn you sport!!

I am still here, and going on. Just from the inside of my house at the moment.

And I haven’t forgotton the wine!