The boy and his music

The boy is fantastic at music and musical instruments. 

In Grade 1 he started learning the Violin and he picked it up very quickly. Because he has Aspergers he decided after two years that he had learnt it all and gave it up. His teacher nearly cried…

Then he decided to learn the Flute. Same thing again – the teacher was amazed during his first lesson that he had never played before. Fast forward twelve months and again he gave it up because he had learnt it. 

The trumpet was the next instrument to be given a whirl. By now he was teaching himself to play songs via ear and youtube. 

After another year of this (and of being sent up to the back fence to practise where I couldn’t be deafened – sorry neighbours!) he gave up again. 

There has been no more requests to learn any more instruments but it is a waste of talent. The only music he does now is at school.

Which brings us to the music concert at school last term. His class had to show off their learned talents on the glockenspiels much to the delight of us watching parents. What better way to spend an evening!!! 

Whilst every other student was concentrating hard on their notes, the boy was looking around the room, shaking his head at me taking his picture and not looking impressed at all and generally not concentrating on what he was doing, and he did it all without missing a beat.

Last week the boy came home from school with an Academic Award! Just one.

In Music.

He is not impressed. 

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How to torture the boy…

I decided many years ago that as I spent all of my time in the gym I might as well get paid for it, so I became a Personal Trainer.  Now I help other people get fit and maintain their sanity whilst maintaining mine! That is a win for everyone, better than drinking wine.

Maybe…

I also needed another goal, as taking up running many years ago wasn’t cutting it anymore so I thought I would give bodybuilding a go. I could torture the boy and get fit at the same time. Awesome!

It gave me something to focus on and required lot of training and willpower to not eat the peanut butter (peanut butter is awesome by the way) for the five months of leading up to my first show but I made it. And boy did I enjoy eating afterwards. Especially peanut butter…. and bread. And bread WITH peanut butter. And Vegemite toast…. Do you get the picture?

I did enjoy torturing the boy with ‘the terminator’ pose as he called it. Actually anything involved with bodybuilding scared him! The thought of his mum in a bejeweled bikini on stage was appalling! There was no way he was coming to watch me compete,  both kids were horrified…. How rude!

Last year I did another show but didn’t enjoy it as much and it was a hard slog. I was glad to see the end of it. I took some time off training and now just exercise to keep fit and healthy. There can be a balance – I think – I have an addictive personality so I tend to hit any interests hard and don’t go into anything half-hearted.

And I will keep the bikini close by for when I need to punish the kids some more and put it on.

It is a parent’s job to embarrass their kids yes? bodybuilding me

Time to go train again methinks!

 

Guess what….

I may be back.

Who knows…. I might not stay either.

It’s been a long time. A few years in fact. The boy is now 13 and the girl is 15. Where does the time go?

I am still full of anxiety, still waiting for the explosions to happen. Still waiting for something to happen all the time.

I am still trying to figure out this parenting teenagers with Asperger’s lark.

The girl is a talented singer, writer and actor. When she wants to be. She says she wants to be an actor or an author but when her agent calls her up to say she has an audition she has a meltdown and won’t go. Why? Because she might not get the part! She doesn’t get that by not going she is definitely not going to get the part.

The the next audition she is fine. I don’t understand!

I scream internally (and externally) a lot….

She doesn’t get it.

The boy makes things. He will find a picture of an item, usually a weapon used in a film he has just seen and make a 3D replica of it. He is quite talented there but it makes for a messy house with paint and glue and bits of foam spread all over any available surface.

Apparently I love mess.

The Camp

The boy is meant to go on school camp tomorrow. We don’t see that happening.

He is very anxious and has cried about it for weeks. If it gets mentioned he says he’s not going. There have been notes written around the house that he’s not going. When we said he was going he just said, ‘you won’t be able to get me out of the house!’ 

He says he will miss us too much, and his dog and his cat.

I’m afraid he will miss out on life if he never does anything!

He has always been a home body – when we went to England when he was two, he said it was time to go home when we had only been there a few days. 

He doesn’t care that his friends are going, that he will be trying new activities and will have fun. I have said that if he is staying home he has to do jobs for three days – he then asked if he would get a reward for that?

Umm….NO!

I am ashamed to say that I got very angry and ranted that I was sick of not normal kids, that I wanted kids that would go on camps and do sleepovers without hesitation and without a military operation.  I am tired of this – and jealous of all the other parents in the same year level as the boy preparing and packing their kids for camp.

I will look on from the outside again.

All the noise!!!!

It is finally the holidays here, not sure whether that is a good or bad thing. Good because I have a heap of things I need to do, and bad cos the kids are home.

It is only day 2 and already the boy is driving me around the bend with his relentless energy.

He. Doesn’t. Stop!

He is bouncing off the walls, and making a tremendous amount of noise. All day! My poor ears are already ringing….

He sings and hums, and plays games with the dog which consist of a lot of rolling around on the floor with giggling and more noise, and plays on the wii and talks to his friends online and orders them around and shouts some more. He plays with his sister which always ends in tears. All with noise!!!!!!

Can’t wait til he is asleep!

Now where are my earplugs?

 

 

Crazy Saturday

Yesterday was another crazy Saturday for us. The man works on Saturday’s so it is my job to take both kids to their various activities.

Sundays I fall over in a heap!

And then go to the gym. And clean the house, and study, but I’d like to fall over in a heap….

After arguing with the boy about going to his basketball game yesterday, they finally won for the first time in 7 months. Last season had been a hard one as the boys had been put in the wrong division. Yesterday was the first game of the new season and they were in the right division this time. The team was very excited to see a win on the board! I think I cheered more than they did though….

Following the basketball run was picking the girl up from ballet, shopping, then the psychologist came over to see the kids – the girl spoke to her and the boy ignored her…. normal then!

The girl gets a chance to offload everything that is bothering her, and hopefully get some strategies to deal with what goes on in her life.

The boy managed to shut down very successfully until the hour was up – he knows that she has to leave eventually so just waits until she does. It is his way of avoiding the hard questions she may ask him. I did want him to talk to her about the anxiety he gets and ways to deal with it, but I think he was too anxious to do it. Can’t win with him!

The boy then entertained himself for a while by watching Super Nanny episodes on Youtube. I think he was getting tips on how to misbehave! He seemed fascinated by what was happening and could tell me all about ‘the reflection room’ and how it was meant to improve the kids’ behaviour, and what the kids in the show was doing. I still want Super Nanny to have to deal with kids on the spectrum, I think she’d lose somehow! Hehe…..

Then I had a nap!

 

What the?

I love the way kids minds work sometimes, how they jump from one topic to another.

Or maybe it is just my children’s minds.

Tonight as the boy and I were on our way home from basketball training the song  ‘Walks like Rihanna’ was on.

The boy asked why they were singing about how Rihanna walks. I held in a rather not nice comment about how Rihanna walks and can’t sing or dance and explained that the singer thought this particular girl ‘walked like Rihanna’.

He said ‘but everyone walks the same, and did you know that Aborigines eat bush tucker and it makes their teeth white and strong?’

I would have never thought to put those two topics in the same sentence but whatever…. !

 

Anxiety and hiding under the bed

The boy gets anxious.

He gets so anxious that he makes himself sick.

He doesn’t want to go to school because he finds it hard and he has to work hard and use the brain of his that does actually work very well,  he just thinks it doesn’t.

So he hides under the bed.

And says that I should just call him the boy who cried wolf because apparently I never believe that he is really sick. Except when he was sick for three days a couple of weeks ago I wouldn’t let him go to school, but please would I forget about that.

*sigh*

We are working together with his teacher to make him more resilient to school, and to get him to take less mental health days but it is hard. He really really hates school.

But loves his friends there!

He was very indignant last week when his sister had a day off school because she wasn’t well. It was the first day she had had off all year but he still got his nose out of joint about it.

It does my head in!

Today was hard to get him moving and out the door. I hadn’t slept at all with too much going on in my head, and the girl has been awake since 3am. There wasn’t enough coffee in the world to wake me up this morning.

Fingers crossed for a good night’s sleep and easy morning….

 

 

 

Success!

We had a major breakthrough today.

A miracle you could even say!

The boy went to the dentist!!

Just when I think I have him worked out he goes and does something unexpected. I think he does it to keep me on my toes.

He has had a phobia about the dentist forever. Every time anyone mentions the word he would throw a fit. And hide. Sometimes both at the same time. The one and only time I got him near a dentist was when he kicked me then bit my finger. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to prise his mouth open but I was desperate. Not making that mistake again…

We knew a few years ago that there were some holes in his teeth but as the dentist was unable to even look in his mouth all work had to be done under a general anaesthetic at a hospital.

8 crowns, 2 x-rays, cleaning, 3 hours and a couple of thousand dollars later he we done. I am still paying that off….

I had actually given up making appointments for him at all. Had tried in the past and as I couldn’t get him out from under the waiting room chairs it was just a big waste of time. He had gone as far as to suggest to me that I should become a dentist so I could do his teeth for him. That would be on top of being a hairdresser (I had to learn how to cut his hair years ago) and also a doctor.

Hmm I don’t think so bud!

So I had figured that he would grow up with awful teeth and he would have to deal with that as an adult, and in the meantime I was very pedantic about him brushing his teeth twice a day and doing them well.

So today’s appointment was for the girl, but I casually mentioned that he had to see the dentist as well. All she would do is look in his mouth. That’s all…(fingers crossed behind my back)

Ok he said.

After I picked myself back off the floor I asked him to repeat that. I was sure that he said ok, but surely that couldn’t be right.

He did.

When we got to the dentist I warned her what was happening and said that she had to do as much as she could in this visit cos who knew when I would get him back here again. The boy calmly got in the chair and chose his sunglasses and answered any questions the dentist asked him.

I had no idea who this child was, it certainly wasn’t mine.

So after she cleaned his teeth and had a good look around and took some x-rays he was done.

He got off the chair and says,

‘What was all the fuss about?’

 

A new low

I hit a new low on Monday. I cried in the car park of Woolworths.

I had just raced to the supermarket to grab up a couple of things before picking up a friend for the boy to play with for the day. It had been organised the day before as the boy had been nagging me to play with this other boy for ‘days and days and days’. (Confused much?)

I got a text message from his mother saying that today wasn’t going to suit after all and could we please change it to tomorrow.

As I envisioned the meltdown to follow, the screaming that I am a moron, the throwing of whatever the boy could get his hands on and the horrible, horrible atmosphere I just burst into tears. I sat there and howled and was mighty glad of the tinted car windows.

I couldn’t bear to go home to be greeted by this but as I figured that no-one was going to ride in on their horse to save me or the day I was going to have to.

I need me a hero!