Don’t throw out the wine!!!

Sometimes I have a laugh about the search terms that bring readers to this blog.

A lot of them feature teeth brushing problems, which is normal as Aspies hate the taste of toothpaste and feel of the toothbrush in their mouth.

Obsessions with paper is another one which is normal, as is sleep – or lack of sleep. There are a lot of sleep deprived parents who keep the caffeine business going.

One of the more interesting search this week was ‘little girl boy brushing teeth girl puts toothpaste and sprinkles on boy’s head’…..

Hmm not sure what was going on there – were they sprinkles that you put on bread? And did the little girl think the boy was a snack?

Another one from today was ‘when he gets angry he throws out all the wine!’ ¬†What the…?

Not sure why anyone who searches for wine would land on my blog! ūüėČ

And why would anyone throw out good wine, regardless of whether they were angry or not!

That’s just kooky talk!

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Crazy Saturday

Yesterday was another crazy Saturday for us. The man works on Saturday’s so it is my job to take both kids to their various activities.

Sundays I fall over in a heap!

And then go to the gym. And clean the house, and study, but I’d like to fall over in a heap….

After arguing with the boy about going to his basketball game yesterday, they finally won for the first time in 7 months. Last season had been a hard one as the boys had been put in the wrong division. Yesterday was the first game of the new season and they were in the right division this time. The team was very excited to see a win on the board! I think I cheered more than they did though….

Following the basketball run was picking the girl up from ballet, shopping, then the psychologist came over to see the kids – the girl spoke to her and the boy ignored her…. normal then!

The girl gets a chance to offload everything that is bothering her, and hopefully get some strategies to deal with what goes on in her life.

The boy managed to shut down very successfully until the hour was up – he knows that she has to leave eventually so just waits until she does. It is his way of avoiding the hard questions she may ask him. I did want him to talk to her about the anxiety he gets and ways to deal with it, but I think he was too anxious to do it. Can’t win with him!

The boy then entertained himself for a while by watching Super Nanny episodes on Youtube. I think he was getting tips on how to misbehave! He seemed fascinated by what was happening and could tell me all about ‘the reflection room’ and how it was meant to improve the kids’ behaviour, and what the kids in the show was doing. I still want Super Nanny to have to deal with kids on the spectrum, I think she’d lose somehow! Hehe…..

Then I had a nap!

 

Head hurts tonight!

The girl dances on a Friday night. She loves dancing, and she looks so free and happy when she does.

Tonight she came home hungry. Not unusual as she is always hungry, but she didn’t know what she wanted to eat. ¬†The problem is is that she only eats about four things and she didn’t want any of those.

Pasta? No

Weetbix with Vegemite? No

Toast?

Sandwich? No

All options exhausted then. Cue tears….

I put one option on the table – the one she hadn’t finished from before she left for dancing – and told her to go sit down at the table. Once she saw what it was she started crying that she didn’t want it, but couldn’t tell me what she did want. I said that if she didn’t want to eat then she should have a bath and go to bed, as she was obviously tired.

Apparently eyes hanging out of head and tears doesn’t mean you are tired! Just so you know…

I lost it at the point and said it wasn’t a restaurant and she was out of options. Cue more tears and collapsing on the ground this time.

I left her to it and went into another room to cool down.

A few minutes later she stormed past us to go to her room, where she proceeded to collapse on her bed this time, conveniently bypassing the bathroom and ignoring the fact that I’d told her to have a bath if she wasn’t going to eat.

After physically dragging her off the bed and into the bathroom, I then had to undress her, which is quite difficult when she is trying to put her clothes back on at the same time. I picked her up and dumped her in the bath (so so glad she is little!) and walked away… after saying that if she was not careful she would have to go and live with another family because I can’t look after her anymore.

Five minutes later she is calling me from the bath.

‘Now I’m worried that you are going to get rid of me’.

After reassuring her that I didn’t mean it and I was just frustrated by her behaviour, she got out of the bath.

And proceeded to get upset about everything else that was going on in her world. Like her body hurting everywhere, and her knee hurts as well, and the German Teacher at school is convinced that all kids with Aspergers are going to try to run away like a girl did in Prep who has it, but don’t ask her how she knows this because she can’t tell me. And she doesn’t want the German Teacher to know she has it because she will tell even more people about it, like her best friend in Year 4 did after promising to keep it a secret then telling everyone who then proceeded to laugh and point at her. And there is a mean girl in the Softball Team at school who keeps picking on her but she is in the Year below her and she only knows her first name but she is really mean to her and she is really missing her computer game and when can you get a new computer so I can play it and it’s not fair….and can I have some Tuna please?

This was all told to me in about two minutes flat, such was the speed of her talking.

I know that she holds everything in until she feels she is safe enough to tell us and then she erupts, but we have to go through the meltdown to get to what is upsetting her.

Hurts my head and now I need a drink. And chocolate. Or both….

What the?

I love the way kids minds work sometimes, how they jump from one topic to another.

Or maybe it is just my children’s minds.

Tonight as the boy and I were on our way home from basketball training the song ¬†‘Walks like Rihanna’ was on.

The boy asked why they were singing about how Rihanna walks. I held in a rather not nice comment about how Rihanna walks and can’t sing or dance and explained that the singer thought this particular girl ‘walked like Rihanna’.

He said ‘but everyone walks the same, and did you know that Aborigines eat bush tucker and it makes their teeth white and strong?’

I would have never thought to put those two topics in the same sentence but whatever…. !

 

Anxiety and hiding under the bed

The boy gets anxious.

He gets so anxious that he makes himself sick.

He doesn’t want to go to school because he finds it hard and he has to work hard and use the brain of his that does actually work very well, ¬†he just thinks it doesn’t.

So he hides under the bed.

And says that I should just call him the boy who cried wolf because apparently I never believe that he is really sick. Except when he was sick for three days a couple of weeks ago I wouldn’t let him go to school, but please would I forget about that.

*sigh*

We are working together with his teacher to make him more resilient to school, and to get him to take less mental health days but it is hard. He really really hates school.

But loves his friends there!

He was very indignant last week when his sister had a day off school because she wasn’t well. It was the first day she had had off all year but he still got his nose out of joint about it.

It does my head in!

Today was hard to get him moving and out the door. I hadn’t slept at all with too much going on in my head, and the girl has been awake since 3am. There wasn’t enough coffee in the world to wake me up this morning.

Fingers crossed for a good night’s sleep and easy morning….

 

 

 

Floating….just!

Still trying to stay afloat, sorry everyone that I usually visit…..

It seems that once again time has got away from me. I have grand plans every day to write about what has happened but then tiredness catches up with me and I start drooling into my cup of tea whilst sitting on the couch at night.

I am also juggling studying to be a Personal Trainer with going to the gym everyday plus working at my current job and trying to stay one step ahead of the boy and the girl. Don’t think I have time for anything else….sorry housework! ūüėČ

We have some issues to deal with at the moment; the boy is not enjoying school and that is making it very hard to get him there in the morning. The girl has a hard time at school and is stressing about the amount of homework she has now, let alone what will happen next year when she moves to high school. And her teacher doesn’t understand her at all…..don’t get me started on that!

Today the girl didn’t get out of her pyjamas. That is normal for a weekend.

She has a very busy Saturday now so Sunday is her day to do nothing. Except catch up on any homework and do her singing practice, annoy her brother and chase the dog around the house- the normal stuff.

I did have a momentary lapse of reason and thought it would be a good idea to go out as a family and maybe go to a park and buy the kids a hot chocolate or something. The girl thought that would be a great but then realised that she would have to get dressed for that, ¬†so cowered in the corner of the couch instead. Why won’t I learn??

The man has decided that if cowering became an Olympic sport then the girl was a shoo in for a gold medal, she is that good at it!

The man and the boy took the dog out for a walk to the park instead and the girl went back to bed.

I escaped to the gym a few hours later…

More later – I promise!!! ūüôā

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Success!

We had a major breakthrough today.

A miracle you could even say!

The boy went to the dentist!!

Just when I think I have him worked out he goes and does something unexpected. I think he does it to keep me on my toes.

He has had a phobia about the dentist forever. Every time anyone mentions the word he would throw a fit. And hide. Sometimes both at the same time. The one and only time I got him near a dentist was when he kicked me then bit my finger. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to prise his mouth open but I was desperate. Not making that mistake again…

We knew a few years ago that there were some holes in his teeth but as the dentist was unable to even look in his mouth all work had to be done under a general anaesthetic at a hospital.

8 crowns, 2 x-rays, cleaning, 3 hours and a couple of thousand dollars later he we done. I am still paying that off….

I had actually given up making appointments for him at all. Had tried in the past and as I couldn’t get him out from under the waiting room chairs it was just a big waste of time. He had gone as far as to suggest to me that I should become a dentist so I could do his teeth for him. That would be on top of being a hairdresser (I had to learn how to cut his hair years ago) and also a doctor.

Hmm I don’t think so bud!

So I had figured that he would grow up with awful teeth and he would have to deal with that as an adult, and in the meantime I was very pedantic about him brushing his teeth twice a day and doing them well.

So today’s appointment was for the girl, but I casually mentioned that he had to see the dentist as well. All she would do is look in his mouth. That’s all…(fingers crossed behind my back)

Ok he said.

After I picked myself back off the floor I asked him to repeat that. I was sure that he said ok, but surely that couldn’t be right.

He did.

When we got to the dentist I warned her what was happening and said that she had to do as much as she could in this visit cos who knew when I would get him back here again. The boy calmly got in the chair and chose his sunglasses and answered any questions the dentist asked him.

I had no idea who this child was, it certainly wasn’t mine.

So after she cleaned his teeth and had a good look around and took some x-rays he was done.

He got off the chair and says,

‘What was all the fuss about?’

 

Road trip

I was up at sparrows fart this morning to drive to Waratah Bay.Actually it was so early the sparrows were too sleepy to fart!

My running group (Coup’s Crew) were running in an 8km fun run along the beach t0 Sandy Point. It took my driver and I a good 2.5 hours to drive there including a pit stop at the ever-reliable McDonalds.

The run was beautiful with the crashing waves beside us but I was too intent on not dying to enjoy it properly, I did make sure I had a swim and paddle on a surf board with our running coach afterwards though, so glad I was wearing a wetsuit as the water was cold. ¬†It was heavenly on my sore legs though….

Me on the left, Brigitte in the middle and Gabrielle on the right.

Me on the left, Brigitte in the middle and Gabrielle on the right.

 

 

A new low

I hit a new low on Monday. I cried in the car park of Woolworths.

I had just raced to the supermarket to grab up a couple of things before picking up a friend for the boy to play with for the day. It had been organised the day before as the boy had been nagging me to play with this other boy for ‘days and days and days’. (Confused much?)

I got a text message from his mother saying that today wasn’t going to suit after all and could we please change it to tomorrow.

As I envisioned the meltdown to follow, the screaming that I am a moron, the throwing of whatever the boy could get his hands on and the horrible, horrible atmosphere I just burst into tears. I sat there and howled and was mighty glad of the tinted car windows.

I couldn’t bear to go home to be greeted by this but as I figured that no-one was going to ride in on their horse to save me or the day I was going to have to.

I need me a hero!

Merry. Freaking. Christmas!

What a day! Or days… or week or whatever.

I know I haven’t written for months, haven’t had the energy or inclination but I am still here apparently.

So we have done Christmas and New Years Eve and now it is the long summer holidays. Three more weeks til school is back! Not that I am counting too much because it is nice to have a break from the mundane routine of life.

Christmas was very stressful for me because of the boy. He didn’t understand that you don’t get everything (and sometimes anything) from your Christmas list because of various reasons. I tried to explain the cost of items he was requesting, or the suitability of items. Apparently Santa could just buy him anything that was too expensive, and anyway, he was going to ask Santa to bring¬†US¬†money so we would have lots and lots and lots.

Hmmm…..don’t you just love 9 year old mentality??

The end result was a very stressed mummy who was racking her brains trying to think of something that wasn’t on his list which included a dog (not going to happen because I don’t want another child to look after) and various guns (his current obsession)

*sigh*

Enter a WiiU

We had a Wii console but it had broken, and had been lying dormant for many months. It was going to be expensive to fix and I refused to buy a different games system as we already had a heap of games. I asked the very knowledgeable 12yo in the shop (ok, maybe he was 18) if the old Wii games would work on the new WiiU?

‘Oh yes’, he assured me, ‘all the old gear works so it will be fine’.

Fast forward to 6.55am on Christmas morning and the man set about sorting out the new toy.

It. Didn’t. Freaking. Work!!!!

There was tears and tantrums and name calling – and the boy was quite upset as well.

The man accepted it as something else that was destined to go wrong in our world and nearly¬†cried. All we wanted to do was give the boy something that would put a smile on his face and take the pressure off us for a while. We couldn’t afford to give the kids much this year so that’s really all the family got.

It made for a very quiet Christmas Day. We were all feeling a little defeated and sad, and after a very long lunch out at my sister’s house I came home and spent the evening in tears before crawling into bed.

The next day just after lunchtime Рafter we had had 48 meltdowns from the boy about the lack of cooperation from the WiiU (Which I had quietly christened the FuckU) Рand the man was just about to drop-kick the thing back to the shop, the boy suddenly shouted that it was working!

No freaking way!!

Cue party time and sighs of relief all round.