Floating….just!

Still trying to stay afloat, sorry everyone that I usually visit…..

It seems that once again time has got away from me. I have grand plans every day to write about what has happened but then tiredness catches up with me and I start drooling into my cup of tea whilst sitting on the couch at night.

I am also juggling studying to be a Personal Trainer with going to the gym everyday plus working at my current job and trying to stay one step ahead of the boy and the girl. Don’t think I have time for anything else….sorry housework! 😉

We have some issues to deal with at the moment; the boy is not enjoying school and that is making it very hard to get him there in the morning. The girl has a hard time at school and is stressing about the amount of homework she has now, let alone what will happen next year when she moves to high school. And her teacher doesn’t understand her at all…..don’t get me started on that!

Today the girl didn’t get out of her pyjamas. That is normal for a weekend.

She has a very busy Saturday now so Sunday is her day to do nothing. Except catch up on any homework and do her singing practice, annoy her brother and chase the dog around the house- the normal stuff.

I did have a momentary lapse of reason and thought it would be a good idea to go out as a family and maybe go to a park and buy the kids a hot chocolate or something. The girl thought that would be a great but then realised that she would have to get dressed for that,  so cowered in the corner of the couch instead. Why won’t I learn??

The man has decided that if cowering became an Olympic sport then the girl was a shoo in for a gold medal, she is that good at it!

The man and the boy took the dog out for a walk to the park instead and the girl went back to bed.

I escaped to the gym a few hours later…

More later – I promise!!! 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pass the wine

We are just in the middle of one of our nightly fights with the boy. Apparently because we are trying to make him brush his teeth we are bad parents who don’t care about him. He has just been literally dragged kicking and screaming into his bedroom and been told to put himself to sleep and that he has to stay there all night.

By himself.

Impossible!

It breaks my heart to see him act like that. I hate being told I am a bad parent by him when I love him to bits and would do anything to not see him hurt.

I don’t get why he has to shut down every night when asked to brush his teeth. Up until that point he is a happy cheery boy, and it’s like a switch just flicks inside his head. He won’t tell us why he won’t brush his teeth. He does it without fighting in the morning so it is not a sensory issue.

Drives. Us. Crazy!

The girl is in her room shouting for everyone to be quiet and that she is trying to learn her spelling words! She couldn’t care less about what is happening. I wouldn’t expect anything else from her though.

As I have written all this I caught him sneaking out of his room to go and brush his teeth. I don’t get why he does this after 15 minutes of screaming about it, and making the man and I sad and upset in the process. Now we will sit here all evening feeling like we are failures.

Where’s the wine tonight? Anyone….

I’ll update you on the sleeping issue later.

The night out and other fun…..

Last night the man and I went out. Don’t all fall over in shock – it does happen every couple of years!

We went to see Prince in Melbourne. The man is a huge fan of the little purple dude so was keen to go and I was happy to tag along and have a dance.

My sister very kindly and rather naively  offered to look after the girl and the boy for the evening. She was originally going to come to our house but as we weren’t sure how late we would be it was decided that the kids would stay at her house for the night instead. Easy? No…

The boy never stays where we are not. He gets too anxious without us, which would be lovely except that I can’t have a darn holiday without him!!!

Anyway…

Both kids agreed to stay over and they were dropped off with their cousins quite happily, the boys and the girls all deciding where they were going to sleep. Sounded like a party was going to be happening!

So off to the concert we went – we were free for the night!

We may or may not have been this close to him!

At 11pm I had the text I had been dreading – please come and get one upset little boy. Luckily the concert had just finished but that put paid to going to his after show gig (yeah right, like we could afford more tickets anyway. Also I am too old to be staying up too late!)

Made it back to pick up said sad little boy and debated whether to take the girl home as well but she looked so comfortable sleeping that we let her be, I would stay with the original plan to pick her up before taking her to school in the morning.

I dragged myself out of bed this morning to make the trip back to get the girl. I am glad I went a little earlier as as usual the girl was having a little bit of trouble getting dressed. As in, she hadn’t even started!

Her younger cousin was dressed and packed and ready to go but the girl was still in her pyjamas rolling around the bedroom floor. My sister just looked at me and said that she wouldn’t do anything she was asked and that she wouldn’t even take her Ritalin. I said ‘welcome to my world’ and that you have to bribe her. I then paid the girl to drink her ‘juice’. Anything goes when you need her drugged to be compliant!

That done I threw her uniform on her and chucked her out of the house and into the car (the girl, not my sister). Made it to school just as the bell rang.

I then came home and went straight to bed.

Always and forever

The girl had a major meltdown last night.

She had not had a good day at all.

It started in the morning when she was dropped at school. She was a little earlier to school than normal because the boy had basketball training before school so it made sense to take them both at the same time. It turned out that she sat outside her classroom until the bell went, even though she had asked to play a game with the other girls in her class who were there early as well. She would have made player number 9 and apparently the game only needed 8 players. These girls didn’t want someone to be ‘out’ at all times, so it was decided that it was easier if she just didn’t play at all.

She wasn’t even allowed to watch the game!

She then told us that a boy from her class walked by her and grabbed her arm and threw her to the ground, then teased her for having Aspergers. She said that he always teases her and he says that ‘she will always have it, so haha!’

My heart broke as she sobbed about how different to other kids she was and she didn’t know how to fit in.

I have contacted the school to let them know that this in not good enough and I want some answers now. I know exactly who said it and I do think it is ironic that his older brother has Aspergers as well.

The Year 5 students have buddies who started Prep this year. The girl has a very lively little girl who is very strong willed. Yes it sounds like a perfect fit as this is what the girl is like, but in reality the girl doesn’t need this. She uses her recess and lunch breaks to unwind and can’t do that at the moment. This buddy of hers drags her around the school yard and won’t let her near her own friends. Yesterday the buddy was so demanding about going to the library at lunch time that she threw the girls lunch into the bin so that they would get there faster. She rips books out of the girls hands and throws them on the ground if she thinks she is not getting enough attention…. and it goes on.

She also doesn’t like a lot of contact, or it has to be on her terms, so to have this buddy hanging off her and pulling her in every direction is just enough to tip her over the edge. The teachers say that they have to be firm with them, but that is easier said that done, even with a ‘normal’ person, let along a 10 year old girl with her own issues. If this is trivialised then this mummy will be on the warpath!!

After school she happily went off to her dancing lesson. She has been asking us for years to do dancing but until now we thought she wasn’t ready to go, between her arthritis and her lack of social skills. But she is giving it a good go now.

She cried coming home from her lesson because she said that she just got shouted at the whole lesson. When we clarified what she meant, she said that the teacher would be on the other side of the room shouting at the girl to hold the barre correctly, for example. Now I will be going back to the ballet teacher to explain (again) how the girl cannot comprehend the tone of her voice, that even if she is NOT angry/mad/exasperated the girl will interpret a loud voice as any of these. Then she gets stressed and then makes more mistakes which in turn makes the teacher ‘yell’.

My heart is breaking for her, I want to be able to fix it all for her and just keep her home where she is safe. The world is just too confusing for her at the moment.

No wonder she was upset last night, we let her cry and get it out and gave her heaps of cuddles and love.

Ahh I love the holidays…

This is the last week of Term 3, we have two weeks of holidays.  Two weeks of not having to race out the door to make it to school on time, no choir rehearsals, no basketball training or tennis lessons. Bliss!

Except that the boy hates not going anywhere during the day. He is active and he needs to be busy.

By 8am on Monday morning he will have had the school directory out and made a list of all his school friends phone numbers so I can ring their mothers to arrange play dates. Then have a tantrum when I tell him it is too early to ring anyone.

I can’t even open my eyelids at 8am on the first day of the holidays….

By 8.15am he will have had the craft cupboard open in the kitchen and emptied it of the paint, glue, paper and stickers that are in there.

Then decide that he didn’t actually want to play with that stuff after all, but leave it all over the floor just in case he wants to play with it later!

He will then start bugging his sister to play with him, and all she wants to do is stay curled up in a blanket on the couch all day, so that negotiation will end with him yelling at her then her kicking him then him hitting her back.

I then creep into the cupboard and take a bottle of wine with me. 

The girl is happy as long as she has a pile of paper to cut out, and maybe some food!

The cat is then picked up and put down, chased around the house because ‘she loves playing chasey, see mum, she tagged me’. Finally in desperation the cat runs head first into the closed back door hoping that it will open on impact.

I will be propelled outside to kick, hit or catch a ball, find some butcher boys to put in a bucket and maybe have to feed them  with some grass, jump on the trampoline (hang on to your pelvic floor ladies) and finally go for a bike ride… is it lunchtime yet?

I can hardly wait for the holidays to start! Can you tell I am being sarcastic?

Ticket anyone?

I took the girl to the paediatrician today for her 6 monthly check up.

A friend turned up in the waiting room a few minutes later – I always seem to meet people I know there. Obviously as we go to a ‘Children’s Clinic’, which is in the same building as a doctors surgery,  the chances of meeting someone I know there are pretty high.

Anyway…

The girl couldn’t sit still. She swung on the chairs, and got her backside stuck between two chairs, and sat on my lap and got off my lap and chatted about nonsensical issues and taught this friend’s children how to get their butts stuck between chairs…. in short she very much looked and acted like a child on the spectrum whose medication had run out!

Of course she always plays up when we are in public. Luckily I had on my thick skin and couldn’t be bothered wondering what others were thinking of me and the girl – and my friend was most entertained by her antics – if not a little surprised as she had never seen her outside the school setting.

Always fun to open a person’s eyes to the joys of Aspergers, maybe we could sell tickets?

At least the sick patients in the waiting room were knocked out of their boredom for a while.

Where’s the wine ritalin when you need it!!!

 

Just a bad joke of a day.

Yesterday was not a good day. So good in fact, that I gave it up for a bad joke and went to bed when the kids went.

The day’s plans went to pot about7.30am when I received a phone call from the mother of the boy that was supposed to be dropped at out house at 8am. I was going to look after her son for 3 hours whilst she went to work, then she was going to pick both boys up and take them back to her house for the afternoon. Unfortunately she ended up being called into work for the whole day so her husband stayed at home instead.

The boy went back to bed and sobbed his little heart out. He had been looking forward to spending the day with his best bud. If I had been more awake at the time of the call I would have said to bring the friend over for the day. But I wasn’t, so I didn’t.

First mistake of the day!

The girl had spent the night at my mums house, so I had to go over to pick her up at lunchtime. The boy wasn’t the least interested in coming because it hadn’t been on his agenda, but I got him there eventually.

All was fine for a few minutes – until the boy realised that neither his sister nor his cousins who were also there were interested in going outside to play with him. He loves being outside at the moment, either kicking a ball or riding a bike or just generally being loud. The catch being is that he needs someone out with him. Actually, I correct myself. His 2 yo cousin would have gone outside but the boy said that he was too young to play what he wanted to play.

So, instead of accepting that getting them outside was nigh on impossible, he threw a tantrum and got his sister in a headlock and kicked her. Thereby securing his position as a contortionist. Breaking up this fight was fun. The girl was screaming at the boy and the boy was yelling at the boy and at me. As soon as I spoke to the boy he started mimicking me which really drives me up the wall.

I left him after telling the girl to go play somewhere else. Let him calm down a bit I though. Except when I left the room he immediately let himself out the front door and went and sat on the car bonnet. As long as I didn’t see him walking down the road he would be ok. At least I couldn’t hear him out there.

Eventually he calmed down and he came back inside and proceeded to sit next to me and draw and relax. I decided it was time to go anyway as I had promised them a trip to the ‘new’ library. New as it had just reopened after a couple of months of refurbishment. Anyway, as we were packing up the toys and cleaning up a bit he walked past me just as I moved my arm and he walked straight into my elbow.

‘Why am I just having a bad day?’ he wailed through his tears. The poor boy just can’t cope with changes.

Eventually we made it to the library and he was happy. A big pile of books on his favourite subjects of sharks and spiders and all was right with the world.

We even made it for a bike ride to get rid of some more energy. Fingers crossed, I thought, that there would be no more tears or meltdowns.

I spoke too soon.

Just after dinner the boy mentioned that he couldn’t find on of his drumsticks. You know, the kind that they use to drum on everything they can find and drive you batty with the noise!

So the girl jumps up to help him look on the couch and in the process of both of them ‘helping’ each other, the boy accidently knocks over the girls drink that she had left on the floor. Of course all hell breaks loose… what else!

So the girl yelled at the boy and he started shrieking at her and more yelling, then the boy  called the man a fricking idiot because he had dared tried to calm everyone down. Then the man smacked him on the backside, so the boy told him to fuck off. I couldn’t help myself by this point I was so angry (no wonder everyone else has a problem!) so I stormed after him as he ran into his bedroom. Meanwhile the girl is still shrieking about her drink and how the boy kicked it over and it was on purpose. Oh my ears!!

I sent her to her room still shrieking and I sat down in exhaustion.

Eventually the boy came out and apologised to me ‘for using those bad words’ so I gave him a cuddle and sent him to bed.

Then I gave up and crawled into bed myself.

 

 

 

 

Holidays! Oh yeah!!

Day 2 of the holidays!

Two weeks to go.

Arghhh….

Yesterday I spent the day at a friend’s house sewing costumes for the school play. We spent nearly 8 hours cutting and pinning and sewing together. Unfortunately we had 4 children between us.

My friend gave the children lunch, which was just a roll, but one of her children called it  ‘french bread’, so the girl decided that she didn’t like french bread and wouldn’t eat it then. Then she wouldn’t drink the milk they were offered because it was the wrong brand. And the watermelon had pips in it….

Then she got loud and started fighting with her brother, and they kicked and hit each other until I pulled her into another room to calm down with some drawing. Sporadically she would seek out her brother and my friends son and annoy them. We also managed to lose them for a little bit (on purpose) whilst they walked up the road to feed the paddock of horses and then walk to the local park. I think we got about 5.734 minutes of peace. Speed playing at it’s best.

So far today we have had the tantrums and fighting that I am sure every family has had. Both kids were banished to their bedrooms, where they continued to shout insults at each other from opposite ends of the hall.

They weren’t allowed out until their bedrooms were clean. This is ok for the boy, he doesn’t get as confused by that as the girl. The girl can’t cope with a very broad instructions like that. She needs specific instructions, like move that book onto the shelf, etc. I knew this but felt like messing with her. Every so often I would shout out another instruction just to start off again. I was being evil mum today….

A hour later she was still in her room, but had moved on from crying about not being able to clean her room to lying on her bed reading. This is where I usually find her if she can’t do anything, or flapping about in her underwear. She didn’t get dressed until 5pm when a little friend from around the corner appeared at our front door wanting the girl to play.

At the moment the girl is sitting on the couch eating her dessert (weetbix with vegemite). She keeps staring into space and saying ‘what’ whenever I tell her to keep eating. If I yell at her to keep eating or get into the bath she collapses in tears.

Maybe I should do it just for the entertainment value!

 

Insight, medication and the girl

Tonight was fun. I had the boy shouting at the girl, which made the girl scream and hit the boy which in turn made him shout and cry louder which made the girl cry more…… you get the drift.

Then because I tried to calm the boy down 0.00056 seconds before the girl by giving him a hug first that mean I love him more. *sigh*

We have this a lot. The girl thinks that I don’t love her as much as the boy which just breaks my heart. She doesn’t seem to see that everything we do is for her. But I don’t expect her to realise it either.

She was started on more medication today. Her teacher has noticed that she has reverted back to some old behavioural traits like hitting and kicking other kids at school. Granted sometimes they annoy her intentionally because they know she will lash out at them and she will be the one to get in trouble. That hurts as well…

She has a few tools that she uses to help control her temper but the problem is her impulse control. She goes from calm to a full on rage in the blink of an eye. I asked her a few days ago what it feels like to not be able to control herself. She said it was like she was disconnected from the waist down and she couldn’t control her lower half. She said it was like she couldn’t feel her legs and they just did what they wanted. The same went for her arms; that she tried to hold her arm with her other arm to stop it punching but that didn’t work either. I am amazed that she was able to articulate that.

She has been on ritalin for about 6 months, but only a dose in the morning. It seemed to be holding her behaviour in check all day. It seems that it is not anymore. So today she had to go to the office to get a second dose at lunchtime. This will continue until we know if it is working or not.

Fingers crossed.

I just want a happy girl.

 

Still here

I have forgotten about writing – just too much going on to sit still for too long.
Lots of meltdowns over homework, school, getting dressed… and that is just me.
Wine is featuring heavily (it’s ok my cyber stalker, I don’t have a drinking problem, and I only have a drink when the kids are in bed)
Lots of sleepless nights over kids, money, kids behaviours etc… the usual.
Tonight I had to help the girl finish a story on Jonah and the whale. Not what I really felt like doing after already getting her to do her homework, spelling words and violin practise. Anyway want to quiz me on Jonah now? Huh? Anyone???
So, still here and I will be back to posting again shortly.